10 Questions To Ask Before You Buy Your Dream House

Here are some invaluable questions to ask before you buy that dream house you’re looking at.

Buying a house is one of the biggest things you’ll ever do in your life, literally, a house is probably the biggest thing you’ll buy in your life. You need to know what questions to ask the real estate agent, so here they are!

1. Are the walls intact?

2. Are the ghosts friendly, or do they need a bit of discipline from time to time?

3. Is the house child-friendly? We don’t have any kids, by the way.

4. Are the locks to the lion cages all up to date and fully functional?

5. Will a Clydesdale horse fit in this house?

6. The Gordon Ramsey of real estate told us you were a fucking piece of fucking slime and fucking worthless! Are you one or all of these things?

7. If the law permits, and the design of the house permits, could we, theoretically install a toilet onto the ceiling?

8. Is there a special room for a full German brass band, instrument storage included?

9. When the Chimpanzees of the world revolt against humans, is this house properly equipped to protect us? What I’m asking is, are there banana cannons installed on the roof?

10. Don’t you just love it when a beetroot pops out from under a shrub, and starts firing at you with his catapult!?

…….What?

Bye. 😉