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Recipe For Disaster! (Surreal Poem)

surreal cooking

Take a pinch of malice, add a thimble of death,

mix them together with a passionate fury!

Add a shot of booze-juice, add a lemon with skin on,

Take a blender’s blades and add them in too!


Green vegetables are to be thrown in like hand grenades!

Hand grenades are to be thrown in like Brussels Sprouts!

Pages from the Bible, the Torah and the Quran are to be ripped up, put in, and

and…….then you wait for the backlash, no doubt!


When the backlash comes, you bottle it up, unscrew the top, and pour that shit in!

the calls for Jihad on your head adds a glorious sour taste!

the Jews angry at you gives a subtle bitterness,

and the Christian brigade’s fury adds an ironic sweetness!


This bowl you’re using to house all these ingredients,

will need to be big, big as a house!

A house-sized bowl is hard to find,

as hard to find as a bowl-sized house!


When the mixing has been completed,

and your bodyguards depleted,

this is the time to add in the cream!

The cream made of small children’s dreams!


Getting this liquid out of their skulls,

isn’t as hard as one would think!

Just use an ice-cream scoop made of Elven lumber,

while they’re asleep, deep in childish slumber!


Once the dream-cream has been oozed in,

you scratch your goatee till it turns a swollen blue chin!

Those skin cells you scratched off can go right in the bowl too,

they add the juicy flavour of a sweaty High School roll call!


When all is mixed and done,

to bee or not to bee?

That is the question,

should we add bees to this recipe!?


YES, add some bees fresh from their hive,

once they accept their honey making nature,

they’ll be more than happy to help you bake your cakies!

They’re doing something GREAT, they’ll never feel so alive!


When the bees settle down, and the kid’s dreams curdle nicely,

we shall finally endeavour to finish this Trifle!

A layer of shortbread biscuits on the bottom,

some jelly above that, made of jellyfish and skin tag croutons!


Some fruit on the top of the jelly,

fruit made of household items, keys of Vitamin-Iron, socks of smelly!

The biggest glass bowl shall be used to hold this gastronomic contraption,

I hope my guests make it tonight,

they’ve made some odd excuses to not make it to my Trifle party,

one guy said, “Can’t make it tonight, I’m being taken up by the Rapture!”


The end!



5 thoughts on “Recipe For Disaster! (Surreal Poem)

  1. This one was entertaining, surreal you said? You got to the next level, damn and what was also surreal was that picture. I´ll join the party.

    Posted by charlypriest | September 18, 2015, 8:44 am
    • I know it doesn’t rhyme properly, but then I thought, hey, that makes it even more surreal, right!? lol

      Posted by sarcasticgoat | September 18, 2015, 8:46 am
      • Poetry doesn´t have to rhyme, and actually I rhyme because I like to do it, is just amusing to me, I have fun doing it. Plus when I read it to myself is sort of like singing in some cases. And I´m not really sure if I write can be considered poetry and I actually don´t care, as long as I have fun, that´s good with me. Plus is therapeutic the writing, I don´t drink when I´m writing stories to send them out so they can be rejected.

        Posted by charlypriest | September 18, 2015, 8:58 am
      • The truth has been spoken! 😀

        Posted by sarcasticgoat | September 18, 2015, 9:21 am
      • They do call it creative writing, so for me that means no rules. You might even invent a new form of poetry so just write if you like and how you like.

        Posted by charlypriest | September 18, 2015, 9:24 am

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