Everyone says the same thing,
“The Friday Ritual”, during afternoon drinks.
“Let’s get our party on”,
On a Saturday drinking slog.
“Brother from another mother, absolute LAD!”
a picture with your identical man friend.
“Sista from another mister”,
you and your girlfriend, duckfaced and remiss.
“I’m after a man who makes me laugh most of all”,
Yeah right, the thing you’re looking for is mainly financial.
“I’m just a simple girl”,
your finger diamonds twirling!
“Pizza + Wine = Happy me”,
I’m an alcoholic, that’s triggering!
“Travel is good for the soul”,
you’re in some Indonesian shithole!
“It’s a New Year and a New Me”,
Probably won’t be, statistically.
“Can’t wait for the hot summer days”,
Go to a solarium then, twat. Winter is great!
My message to you, listen carefully
butcherers of the greatest language on Earth,
make the effort to expand your vocabulary,
Because your trite, overused phrases, are the fucking worst!