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Comedy Routine (rough draft)


Just some ideas I’ve been tooling around in my brain for the past few days. Hopefully I’ll get this together enough to try it out in a comedy club here in Adelaide – – if none of it works, I have enough snacks to throw at the audience to keep them quiet. If you have any ideas you’d like to hurl my way, please don’t hesitate – if you think something needs work, or a new angle, it’d be greatly appreciated!


  1. You know you’re an alcoholic when you start building mini-liquor cabinets out of your own bones (rib cage in my example) – expand on this….very surreal imagery to be used/improvised (body parts changed into practical storage areas for more booze etc, that kind of wacky thing)

2. Talk about Trump – his silly policies, take out of context, make strange, or at least, stranger than they already are (building a giant wall around the Mexican food aisle in all stores, around Mexican restaurants etc)! Do impression (bad, but try) of him. Versus Sanders perhaps, with someone else playing Sanders or Trump. Get Malcolm Turnbull involved (Aussie Prime Minister, who like all Aussie PM’s is a total pushover when it comes to US politics, play him as a weak, nerdy little dweeb).

3. Science vs. religion – ? (not sure yet, work on) ‘Battle of the Brains’ between Isaac Newton and Pope Jeff the 9th – FATALITY for Newton etc, think of more scenarios like this. Talk about Newton’s theories, how they’ve changed the world, and then compare with any religious theories of the Earth which are to this day, bullshit!

4. Alcoholism (discuss) – talk about people in the audience as if they were drinks, ask them what they like to drink, ask if there are any sober people in the audience – – blackout stories. What if alcohol was invented today – it would be so illegal etc…“Okay guys, we’ve got a new drug we’d like to trial – it dissolves every organ in the body, makes people do crazy dangerous things, can ruin the life of the user AND their families too!”.…...”Uhm, no we won’t allow this drug to be legal, we’ve been looking into this weeeeeeed shiet, bro! We lurv this shiet!” etc blah blah, go on about weed smokers and how annoying I find them…

5. Rant on the meaningless and materialistic bullshit that is ‘modern life’. People my age are idiots who buy needless stuff. The loneliness I’m feeling, going through. Narrating a Saturday night drive as David Attenborough – – (Issy Quinn, young , posh lady who mysteriously buys mostly white things, ALL white things – more people like this who are utterly obsessed with THINGS!) – (Young rich people in their 20s, doing nothing with their lives – “Money can’t buy happiness, but I do feel a bit better about myself when my chrome wrist-watch shine factor (mime watch shining move) can bring down a plane full of peasants without even trying.” End on, how poor I am and show my ancient mobile phone – talk about the great strength of old Nokia phones – give to an audience member, watch and comment on their puzzlement.

6. Talk about the state of current comedy tv shows and films – talk about them in a grandiose, scornful way – – introduce a ‘secret’ script I found for a brand new comedy tv show, read it out (it will be outrageously stupidly unfunny, but try to make funny).

7. Ask if anyone in the audience is an avid marijuana user – if anyone says yes, ask about the munchies – when they’re rambling on about the munchies, throw them a packet of mamees noodles or ramen noodles or cheezels.



5 thoughts on “Comedy Routine (rough draft)

  1. I actually really like your ideas! I have no clue about Aussie humour but I hope your comedy routine goes well! 🙂

    Posted by 1 Nothing Please | March 22, 2016, 2:07 pm

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