- First of all, stop drinking. For one week at least. From then we continue.
- Start to realize that I’m a fucking adult, and that I need to start living like one, rather than like a spoiled, impulsive teen.
- Get my physical health in order. Go hiking at the National Park 5 minutes away from my house – very difficult trails, and kangaroos galore (they’re lovely animals, they’re not violent in the least, you can walk up to them and feed them, as long as it’s not a 7 foot 5 tall Alpha male, those bastards will kick you so hard your guts fall out!).
- Start writing the first draft of my standup bit.
- Hand in resumes to small shops.
- Save enough money to feel somewhat safe in this world.
- Find a nice gal, serenade her.
- Upgrade my computer so that I can play the best, latest games out there.
- Think about finally moving out of my parents’ house. I’m in love with the idea of renting a small apartment in the centre of the city.
- Take a tour of the Pacific islands that saw combat in WW2, also visit Normandy beach in France and whatnot.
- Help other people stop drinking.
- Go on Kickstarter.com and pitch my idea for a small, intimate comedy club to be built in or near Adelaide – a dream of mine!
- Impregnate said gal, raise a child. I’d prefer a daughter actually, because little girls LOVE their daddies, don’t they. I’d like to be adored like that for once! haha
- If I have enough money at this point, I think I’d buy a red-bricked house in Brooklyn.
- If at this point, WW3 breaks out, I reckon I’d be about 30 years old. Not too old to be taking the fight to ISIS or whatever Hitler-like nation is out there at the time. I’d fucking fight!
- Invent something that changes the world! Preferably something like the internet – Tim Berners Lee who invented the internet was offered literally TRILLIONS of dollars by the US government for his hypertext invention – but he turned it down, he said, “This is for everyone”. What a guy.
- Learn the computer coding skills to finally create the perfect video game! I’m thinking of using Google Maps, then mapping out the WHOLE WORLD into a game, then you can do whatever you like in that game – you could be a cop, a butcher, a soldier, a salesman, anything at all! I’d call it “Life 2.0”.
- Then…………then I’d sit back and enjoy an easy life.
Too much to ask for? Yeah, possibly. But a boy can dream right!?