Galore, that was her name.
She had a red coat on, and a red mane.
She was a lioness,
She mauled my private parts!
In a good way I mean,
she nuzzled her tongue on my genitalia,
the only real lion creature in good old Australia,
Oh no, she’s gettin’ a bit too frisky now,
she’s taken my scalp and my soul,
she’s running amok in my town,
I’ve got nothing left but my raw, loose pole.
My Polish friend, Patrick, that is,
he’s trying to lift me out of the cage!
He’s full of Old Vodka fuelled-European rage!
I was wrong to think I could tame this bitch animal!
This cunt of a cat, forgive the language!
I will die alone! In a cage made of fright!
My head’s all cut up, I’ma need some stitches quick smart!
As I lay dying,
in a pool of my own redness,
the fact I neglected the Catnip special!
My last words were exactly this,
“DESTROY THIS FUCKING DOUCHEBAG ANIMAL!”
“WITH FIRE AND GUNS AND HAMMERS AND NAILS!”
I’m bleeding to death, I need to piss!
FUCK IT, I’ll just piss my pants,
I did, and the lionfucker scarpered!
My alcoholic kidneys came to the frontline,
the lion hated the smell of death in my piss,
she ran off back into the HELL from which she came, haste without!
I’m alive now, just barely,
that lion is DEAD, dead as a doornail!
Now I sleep in its skin and in its fur!
Stupid cat, GO STRAIGHT TO HELL!
The girl I like loves cats,
I don’t know how to break it to her,
that my penis and testicles were ripped off by a four-legged creature!
She’ll understand when we shower together,
when she sees the blank, fleshy void I have ‘down there’.
My motivational saying –
“A lion in the pants,
equals a life lived blank!”
For my testes, let’s begin praying!
Bye, my first poem in a LONG time, please let me know what you think of it?