Nothing to report!
I’m sitting at my computational device. I’m drinking a nice cup of green tea.
As I’m writing this, I’m listening to some hilarious compilations of the funniest moments of the Opie and Anthony Show (the old episodes, before Anthony was fired for being ‘racist’).
Before I started to write this, I played a few hours of the brilliant game ‘Football Manager 2016’. It’s a great game where you take on the role of the manager of a soccer club. I decided to take the reigns at AC Milan. AC Milan were once the greatest team in the world, but now, and for about 5 years, they’ve SUCKED! I am aiming to rebuild the team into the European powerhouse they once were. It’s hard work, you have to manage every single aspect of the team and encourage all the players, or tell them off if they’ve been naughty. You have to buy new players, and sell old slow players, hard to do. I’m 3 games into the season, and I lost the first game, drew the second game, and won the third game. We’re currently 4th in the ladder, we can do better! You see, we play with a narrow 4-4-2 diamond formation, mostly because we have no good wide players, but also because that’s the formation they played when they were winning European Cups for fun! I just wish I had some of those great Milan players from years gone by, I’d kill for Alessandro Nesta, Paolo Maldini, Shevchenko and Pippo Inzaghi (the player who was born in the offside position). I do have some good players though – Mario Balotelli (a great striker, who is a bit of a crazy guy – one time his mum sent him to the department store to buy her an ironing board, instead he came back with two electric scooters and a model railway set!), Daniele Rugani (a young talented defender), and Kaka (one of the greatest players ever..although he’s old now, so he struggles).
I’ve got a school reunion to go to on the 12th of December. I’m looking forward to it quite a lot, I never see any of those people anymore, and I always find it quite funny to see how many of those people have become fat….HAHAHAHA, while I’ve stayed thin and fit. It’s also probably a good opportunity for me to make some extra money, seeing as I don’t drink, I could probably drive a lot of those drunk schoolmates to their destinations at the end of the night, it’s win win! I get to wake up fresh the next day, AND I get some moneys for my driving services.
Uh, I have about 20 or 30 dollars in my bank account, and 35 dollars in my wallet. I kind of blew some money on a new CPU. It was a heavy blow to my finances, but it was absolutely a necessity. I need my computer to write these posts, answer emails, and to play Red Orchestra 2, the best ww2 game ever, very realistic, one shot usually kills you, suppressive fire makes you shaky and scared, and the Germans always win….wait, not so realistic I suppose.
Oh wait a minute, the Opie and Anthony clip I’m listening to right now has me laughing hysterically……..they’re making fun of an overweight news reporter, she’s talking about her weight, and they’re playing hilariously rude sound clips over her talking, sounds of people throwing up, people yelling ‘what’s your name Fat-body!’ etc. It’s great, dark humor, you kind of have to be here!
I’ve had a few calls from a place called Cormack Marketing asking to meet me for a job interview….this is strange, because as I’m looking for a new job, I keep track of every single application I’ve made…..and I never made one to Cormack Marketing…..I think it must be a scam, because I never applied to them, and because the slightly robotic American female voice on the phone sounds like it has SCAM written all over it. Oh well, I just hope that my Nigerian inheritance money of 4 million Nigerian dollars comes through the mail soon!
I’ve also come to realise that my lack of ownership of a smartphone is actually hindering me in profound ways! I’ve been applying to some delivery driver jobs, mostly for Pizza joints and such, but one of the requirements is to own a smartphone that can access Google Maps……I don’t have that, I have a tiny old Nokia from 2004……it lasts 10 days on full battery! Beat that Apple! Another way that lacking a smartphone hinders me is in the personal sphere. I can’t upload funny videos onto social media, although I have funny ideas all the time, I can’t send photos to girls, and I can’t receive photos from girls, not just girls, but anyone. I can’t access the internet wherever I am, I have to use my computer. Now, I used to feel quite high and mighty, and unique and different about the fact that I was the only person I know who doesn’t own a smartphone. But now I just feel genuinely inferior, I’m missing out on so much. I don’t want the top of the line, most recent smartphone on the market, I’m not like that, I’d just like a phone that can take photos and video and get on the interwebs! But alas, I cannot afford it!
Anyway, on a more positive note; my beloved team Tottenham Hotspur are now 11 games into the Premier League season, and we’re unbeaten so far. We’re defending brilliantly, we’ve got Harry Kane who scores goals for fun when he’s in the mood, and we’re finally looking like a real TEAM unit, rather than what we always were in the past, a team that was looked at as having great individual players, but never being cohesive as a team, we’ve been the flimsy, flaky team for so long, but right now, we’re looking like real Premier League contenders.
And, 1000 word post is COMPLETE!