What is December, Goat?
Well, sit yourself down, or if you’re not the sitting type, hover around and read all about what I’ve discovered about the grand old month of December and some of my own thoughts on the month – the ‘month of Kings’ as my wise old grandmother once called it. Later I found out she actually said ‘dust those things’ – her last words to me, I never dusted those things, the things in question were pill bottles………I don’t blame myself though, she was old and senile.
December is indeed named after a great, great man. Not a Roman politician or philosopher or anyone like that, no no no, December is named after a man by the name of Dec Ember, who ironically died in a fire while he was drafting up the modern calendar, he got up to day 31 of December when he finally died, he planned on giving December 32 days, but the good Lord I suppose had other plans!
December is the month of Christmas. Christmas actually is not a Christian holiday, rather it’s a good old Pagan feast, it’s a Norse booze-up. Simple history behind Christmas – goes like this; In the year 0 and for many centuries before the year 0, pagan groups of people, different tribes etc, would celebrate at the end of their year, they’d celebrate their survival of the coldest, hardest part of the year by getting together, drinking, eating, exchanging gifts and just generally fucking party yo! But unfortunately, those pesky Christians managed to convince the world that Christmas is all about their lord and saviour’s birthday…….something which isn’t even in the BIBLE, by the way, but that’s none of my bees knees.
December is a wonderful time. It’ll either be snowing, or just damn cold, or it could be fine and sunny, like here in paradis…I mean Australia.
It’s a month of getting things off your chest and getting those long awaited plans finally into action, more so than January in my opinion.
And finally, I would like us all to spare some thoughts to all those people whose birthdays are December 25th………….do they get twice the amount of presents, or just one set of presents? If they’re genuinely Christian, how do they feel about Jesus’s apparent birthday stealing their thunder all over the world!? If they have plastic Xmas trees in their houses, do they often have their houses catch fire from their mildly drunk relatives carrying their Birthday cake down the stairs only to lose balance and fall into the Xmas tree? These are the questions that only December can bring out in us! Great stuff! Real seasonal inquiry, love it.
December bless us all!