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My Trial Shift

……the…..dishes NEVER stop coming! The dishes, plates, bowls, whisks, ramekins (fucking whore ramekins are the worst!), spoons that gather shite in the spoon part, forks that tangle, knives that HURT your hands and filthy, gross scraps of food that gather around the bottom of the sinks!!!! These things are awful,


there are some good things;

  1. A free meal, one of the chefs made me some french fries and chicken nuggets, lovely woman she was.
  2. Free alcohol……not sure how to feel about it, but the option is there if I ever relapse hardcore. At least 3 times today, I was offered a beer or a glass of wine. I declined.
  3. Drop dead gorgeous waitresses! Oh boy, what a time to be alive! One of them seemed to be quite interested in me too. *fist pumps*
  4. A chance to be out in the sun, believe me, all I did was primarily dishwashing, but the sinks I was working at were situated right near a window, a window showing a view of the very beautiful wine-growing areas of South Australia, it’s so pretty.

What I really do not like, though, is the busboys. Male models who do nothing difficult at all! The hardest they have to work is to carry a plastic crate full of dainty glasses, oh the hell of it! They also don’t scrape enough of the food off of the used plates, “uhm hello? There’s still a fucking half a pig on that plate, Sebastian!”

I think I cut rather a strange figure when I worked that trial shift today. Basically every other male who worked there were hipster types, just impeccably groomed, great hair, beards and all that shit (and a certain lack of personality, they just seem dead behind the eyes to me!) – except for the Sous chef, who talked me around the kitchen at first, he was a crazy guy, talked to himself a lot, talked crazy things, but not in a negative way, in a funny, crazy way, you know. Then there was me………hair down to my shoulders, skinny, pale-skinned, not at all a hipster, I could feel the head of food and drink, a bloke called Ezra looked me up and down when we were first introduced, I could see the disappointment in his eyes, haha, just gave me a look of “You SOOOO don’t take care of your appearance, do you darling?” That’s probably why I got along great with the Sous Chef, we had some laughs together and talked for a while, because we’re both just fucking weird guys!

Anyway, I’m not exactly ecstatic about this job that I will be continuing next week, washing dishes sucks arse, but it’s money, and that’s what I need right now, it’s got to be better that telemarketing or selling pamphlets on the street, eh?




11 thoughts on “My Trial Shift

  1. I want your job!
    Looked at you up and down, eh? Mfckrs! Bet your hair’s beautiful.
    Careful with the free offer of the drinks.

    Posted by Thumbup | October 10, 2015, 4:36 pm
    • LOL, I can handle hipster judgement just fine, they don’t have the wit or sense of humour to do any real damage (I heard one of them talk about his vegan diet for at least 30 minutes, broccoli and shit!, egh! Not a single joke in the entire story, boring zilches!))
      My hair is quite nice yeah, it may be graying slightly at the fringe, but it’s thicker than hell! Every woman who has cut my hair before has said they wished they had hair like mine, is that good? It’s so thick that it just sort of stays in any position I put it in! lol
      The alcohol thing is indeed troubling, I’ve never even seen people drink on the job, I thought it was a horrible, almost illegal thing to do, but when you see how hard chefs work, you can’t really blame them can you?

      Posted by sarcasticgoat | October 10, 2015, 4:44 pm
      • I want your hair too!
        About the hipster, there you go! You way better than them! LOL!
        About alcohol, better for the chef to drink than you.

        Posted by Thumbup | October 10, 2015, 4:49 pm
      • I know yeah, it’s going to be an awkward day when I finally tell them all that I don’t drink, and I work at a damn winery! haha
        What’s wrong with ladies’ hair that they want my hair? Ladies’ hair looks damn fine to me! Do women have mostly thin hair or something?

        Posted by sarcasticgoat | October 10, 2015, 4:52 pm
      • Never worry about what other people think, screw them.
        I don’t know about other ladies hair but I know mine is so fine, very thin and I hate it.

        Posted by Thumbup | October 10, 2015, 4:56 pm
      • Yeah, my mum has very fine blond hair, so she is constantly dying it for some reason. She is totally an Ayran lady, Hitler would’ve been proud…..only if she wasn’t British, the country/Kingdom that fucking wrecked Hitler in WW2 (yeah harsh words, I said FUCK Hitler, forgive me if I’m being too rude..lol)
        It’s a sad thing that great hair that women would love to have, is just being grown out and wasted by me and probably millions of other men on Earth! lol I apologize!

        Posted by sarcasticgoat | October 10, 2015, 5:03 pm
      • Dying helps to make the hair fuller for some reason and

        Love your rudeness, continue!

        Posted by Thumbup | October 10, 2015, 6:03 pm
  2. Do I know everything that women do to make themselves better looking, I happen to think that a woman with a number 2 (half an inch) haircut, painted black ids the hottest thing ! ever! Meh?

    Posted by sarcasticgoat | October 10, 2015, 6:39 pm
  3. I was a busboy for a few summers many years ago. At one particularly shitty job – all-you-can-eat tourist trap seafood buffet restaurant – the busboys had to rotate in as dishwashers as well. After a few dishwashing shifts, I made sure everything I bussed from then on was nice and tidy before it got to the dishwasher. Perhaps each one of those hipster busboys should take a turn doing your job….

    Posted by riding on empty | October 12, 2015, 7:56 pm

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