There be a hidden message in this post, if you can find it, I shall give you an amulet made of opal and chrome I got from an old wise mystic woman from Libya. I’m not saying this amulet has magical powers, but one time I was cleaning it with salt water, and the fucking water turned into wine, and my hands turned to gold, oh, and my legs turned into wheels! Now I’m a drunk, golden-handed humanmobile! (results may vary)
Milo got all angry at the feminists, he shouted facts and statistics at them, about how women in general work less than men, even if they don’t have kids. Men tend to work more, take fewer vacations and fewer days off, the conclusion is that men work more, not that that’s necessarily a good thing, working less is probably good for us!
Chicken flavoured chips don’t taste much like chicken do they? I’m eating Smith’s Chicken Potato Chips right now and come to think of it, what on Earth DO they actually taste of? More like chicken seasoning than actual chicken. I suppose they taste quite similar to stuffing rather than the actual chicken meat!
Cuban cigars are great, but don’t confuse them with Cubic cigars. Cubic cigars are about the size of a tissue box, but they’re cuboid instead of rectangular. They contain vast amounts of cancer in them, too. You try smoking a Cubic cigar, and you’ll end up looking a bit silly. Not recommended.
That lovely moment – when you’re walking to the bus stop, and suddenly a small turnip pops out from under a hedge and starts firing his little catapult at you! What a lovely day, in Chernobyl that was!