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Rap Song (Goofy White Guy Edition)


Yo, Ima rhyme some shit up in here,

I got the words and the skills top tier!

I gotta lot of money, cash AND coins,

The paper I make rain, the coins I throw up in the air and just run away!


My music is my life!

Without I don’t think I’d survive!

I’m neat and organized though,

my study is clean and my computer’s recycle bin is damn near empty!


My folks don’t like my life’s direction,

I don’t need their old affection!

I got my homies and my ladies,

their all over the place, I’m a made man!


Rolling down the street in my ice cold car!

My Toyota Corolla with painted on stars!

All the bitches be looking at me,

They be laughing, they know they can’t have me!


Coming up on the streets was rough, yo,

my two-storey house was egged and ransacked daily,

I never felt safe, needed to get me a gun!

I got ma gun, a potato one!


Always being shot at was rough, yo,

some of dose potato bits were rancid, gross!

My first tattoo was of my first victim!

A Mormon who came door knocking, I gave him an ear full!


My hats are turned sideways, my jeans are hanging low,

no belt yo, no belt yo,

The cops always be hassling me with their stupid ass questions!

“Where’d you get those shoe lifts, sir? What’s in the sensible briefcase!”


Tired of this life of mediocrity,

I’m gonna be a star in all the galaxies!

See you haters later, I’ll be rich and famous!

On the flipside, motherfuckers, yall be stardom drains!


Peace out, homies and homettas.



6 thoughts on “Rap Song (Goofy White Guy Edition)

  1. absolutely amazing… well done

    Posted by When Faith gives Reason a Backrub | August 23, 2015, 5:42 pm
  2. Damn son! You nice with the blah-blah-blah! 🙂

    Posted by youretheworst | August 23, 2015, 5:57 pm

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