you're reading...

Superman vs Batman!


There’s a film coming out about Superman vs Batman……

……is this really necessary? I imagine the film will last about 3 minutes. Two and a half minutes of Batman planning his tactics and getting all his gear together to fight Superman, then the last 30 seconds consists of Superman grabbing Batman by the stupid bat-ears, flying him up into space and throwing him into the Sun!

End of film. Sorry Batman lovers out there, Superman win every time without even trying!

Batman has a nice car, very nice gadgets and stuff like that. Pretty good I suppose. Superman has the ability to FLY! He’s impervious to any physical damage. He can melt steel with his eyes! He can lift entire planets and throw them like a bowling ball for Christ’s sake!

How, in any scenario, could Batman win!? Ahah, Kryptonite you say? Yes, Kryptonite is a big deal of trouble for Superman, and Batman would definitely be smart enough to factor Kryptonite into his plans. But, Superman can simply keep his distance, hovering up in the air, shooting laser beams at Batman, surely.

Another thing that troubles Superman is magic attacks. He’s very susceptible to magic. Batman could perhaps enlist the services of Doctor Occult or Nightshade.

But then again, Superman can fly anywhere in the universe, he can breathe in space for the love of God! Superman could take down Batman no matter what, he’d simply fly into the sun and bathe in the solar radiation for a few years, upping his powers almost infinitely, then if he wishes, he could punch the whole fucking planet with Batman on it, into dust!

Supes wins all day every day!



25 thoughts on “Superman vs Batman!

  1. You and my fiancé will get along great.

    Posted by miusho | August 5, 2015, 4:27 pm
  2. It’s just common sense, isn’t it? I’ve had this argument so many times, and otherwise rational people will insist that Batman could win…

    Posted by youretheworst | August 5, 2015, 4:32 pm
    • People just like Batman because he’s cool and mysterious.
      Superman is more interesting in my opinion, trying to imagine what I’d do if I had that much power!

      Posted by sarcasticgoat | August 5, 2015, 4:39 pm
      • I know exactly what I’d do; leave this place a lifeless husk and move on to greener pastures.

        Posted by youretheworst | August 5, 2015, 4:42 pm
      • Exactly. Embrace your Godlike powers, go around the universe doing errands for different people.
        The way Superman is obsessed with Lois Lane and Earth in general is just the lamest thing any comic or film could with a character like Superman!

        Posted by sarcasticgoat | August 5, 2015, 4:45 pm
      • Errands? HA! I don’t think so 😉

        Posted by youretheworst | August 5, 2015, 4:50 pm
      • What would you do if you were Superman?

        Posted by sarcasticgoat | August 5, 2015, 4:56 pm
      • Did you ever read Stormwatch? There was a Superman-type character named “The High” who people vilified and he literally flew to the moon and took a decades long nap. I’d probably start with something like that…

        Posted by youretheworst | August 5, 2015, 5:01 pm
      • Good lord, what a life!
        I’ll have to look into that.
        Another good character is called ‘The Sentry’, who is basically Superman X10, but he has crippling depression and mental problems, so he never feels like saving the world. He eventually summons up the courage to face the ultimate version of The Hulk, and defeats him, leaving the whole planet fucked up beyond repair! Good story.

        Posted by sarcasticgoat | August 5, 2015, 5:08 pm
      • Uh, I’d call that fight with Hulk a draw 🙂

        Old Image Comics: Supreme!
        He’s exactly like Superman, except he knows exactly how awesome he is.

        Posted by youretheworst | August 5, 2015, 5:18 pm
  3. I thought Batman defeated Superman in the comics? No idea though…

    Posted by Princess Kick-ass | August 5, 2015, 5:48 pm
    • Not in any realistic sense, given what Superman can actually do. Supes is way more powerful than any regular person has seen him in the movies or TV. He’s got to the point where he can actually telekinetically control all matter.in the universe. Batman can’t do anything about that, besides wait to die!
      Superman, given time bathing in the sun of any solar system, can literally become totally invincible.
      I’ve not seen any instance where Batman could stand any kind of chance against Superman,
      but I may be mistaken, I’ve not read the entire Superman chronicles the whole way through.

      Posted by sarcasticgoat | August 5, 2015, 6:01 pm
      • That is true

        Posted by Princess Kick-ass | August 5, 2015, 6:06 pm
      • Superman, by that standard, in my opinion, is the most interesting fictional character ever made…..
        ….just to think about what I would do with that amount of power!?
        It’s so much more interesting than stupid Batman or any of those guys.
        Grant Morrison (scottish comic writer) has had a lot of great ideas about how to take on Superman and Batman etc.
        Superman is basically the template, for how to deal with people who have more power than they can deal with! lol 😉

        Posted by sarcasticgoat | August 5, 2015, 6:13 pm
      • I’d argue that Superman, being almost god-like, becomes also, unrelatable in a way. If the guy can alter matter he can do whatever he wants, end of the story.

        Posted by Princess Kick-ass | August 5, 2015, 6:14 pm
      • Good point,
        but this is the old 60’s version of Superman I was talking about.
        I would imagine that the modern version of Superman can’t do this.
        But, even if Supes couldn’t do any of what he could could do previous,
        it’s still a fucking destruction!
        Batman is VERY smart, he can plan better than any other person in the DC universe, but Superman is nowhere near as powerful as we’ve ever seen him in films or TVs. He literally has no limit has no limit to his power, given that the suns and stars keep on burning in the burningness! Superman can potentially be unlimited in power!

        Posted by sarcasticgoat | August 5, 2015, 6:23 pm
  4. Why? Why!!! You just spoiled the ending, and I like the Batman, he´s way cooler than superman

    Posted by charlypriest | August 6, 2015, 6:53 am

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

View Count

  • 19,584 hits


August 2015
« Jul   Sep »
Inmate Blogger

A Collection of Blogs Written By Men & Women In Prison

The Conventional Playmaker

Discussing views and opinions on the beautiful game

What When Here

Just terrific Amazon Discounts.

Baffy Basics

Sometimes writing poems let's me forget about the huge sums of debt I'm accumulating while at college

Why I Game

Wandering worlds, wondering words...

Crow On The Wire

Poetry and pictures with a sharp crow sensibility by Mark Tulin

Taming The Monkey

Freeing ourselves from the smoking habit

%d bloggers like this: