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How I Would Destroy Ronda Rousey

Mixed martial arts fighter UFC bantamweight champion, Ronda Rousey poses during a weight in at the Honda Center in Anaheim, Calif., Friday, Feb. 22, 2013. Rousey will face off Liz Carmouche in the main event at UFC 157 at the Honda Center on Saturday Feb. 23, in the first women's bout in the UFC promotion's history.(AP Photo/Damian Dovarganes) ORG XMIT: CADD109

Mixed martial arts fighter UFC bantamweight champion, Ronda Rousey poses during a weigh in at the Honda Center in Anaheim, Calif., Friday, Feb. 22, 2013. 

Ronda Rousey is the most dominant female fighter in the world, possibly ever. She’s an absolute beast, albeit a rather attractive beast. It must be very difficult to approach Ronda in a bar or club and have enough courage to talk to her properly without just walking up to her, saying, “Hello Ronda”, then realizing what she could do to you, then run away home!

I believe I have what it takes to take Ronda down. I know she’s said that she won’t fight a man, but I’m barely a man, I’m skinny, pale and 5 foot 8 inches tall. But I’m wiry, never been sure what that means, I think it means skinny, yet muscular.

I have been a state level gymnast in South Australia believe it or not. Over ten years ago that was, but I still have remnants of the vast explosive strength I once had in abundance. I could, if I train properly for quite a while, become physically stronger than Ronda, maybe.

The thing is, I have no interest in learning mixed martial arts. That might hinder me a bit.

On the subject of trash talking – something Ronda loves to do, and good for her, but I, with little to no training required, will simply be able to trash talk her into tears if I really wanted to. I’d get all absurd with it too. I’d show up at the weigh-in, wearing a top hat and holding a cane, I’d say in a posh British accent, “Oh hello young lady, is your father ready to fight me yet?”

Actually, come to think of it, the only way I could take down Ronda Rousey would be if MMA actually stood for, “Machinegun from Miles Away”


2 thoughts on “How I Would Destroy Ronda Rousey

  1. She’d likely just smack you around a little then show you the door. Not sure she’ll read this so she probably won’t take you seriously.

    Posted by Ken Dowell | August 4, 2015, 2:59 am

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