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Army Celeries! (Salaries)


– – TV SHOW IDEA – –

Obese people desperate to lose weight are put into a reenactment of the Normandy Landings of WW2. Fit people dressed in German uniforms shoot MG42’s loaded with chia seeds and almonds at the obese people. The obese people have to make it up to the beachhead and knock out the German machine gun emplacements with bombs made of toasted soy bread and shards of frozen lettuce (horrifying weapons to everybody, especially those who eat shit food!). When they take out the German positions, they must march in unison towards Berlin. They’ll be tempted along the way with French civilians offering them wine and cheese and chocolate and lovely things of the sort – some might give in to temptation, some won’t. They’ll have to live on Army rations only (one of the healthiest diets ever devised by the way). Then, the few people who actually make it to Berlin, get full military pensions for the rest of their lives, which hilariously still isn’t enough to pay for any weight management surgery they might consider getting!

….this entire thing was an overblown way of saying that soldiers aren’t paid enough or respected enough! 


2 thoughts on “Army Celeries! (Salaries)

  1. Posted by Thumbup | August 2, 2015, 6:46 pm

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August 2015
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