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Planet Of The Cats

cats

A video recently has surfaced of the internet….and it’s not good, folks, it really isn’t.

The cat world has begun to realize they can infiltrate our lives in a negative and very probable ‘take over our world’ kind of way.

The cat in the video in question hijacked a motorized hang glider off the coast of somewhere…the place isn’t important, because these events are likely to increase in number everywhere in the world, a world where cats are everywhere!

Cats have many advantages over us humans in the upcoming war we’re going to have to wage against them.

No 1 – They can survive falls from great distances (throwing their lot off a cliff won’t work for us as a war tactic)

No 2 – They have 9 lives……say more I need not.

No 3 – They hide, very well. They sneak very well too. They’re natural hunters, we modern humans aren’t natural hunters anymore, we’re all fat fucks!

No 4 – They have their own version of AIDS, which they may give to us via ‘cat disease transmission policy no.9’

No 5 – They can be swung around in a house without touching any of the walls. Cats live in The Matrix.

No 6 – The males’ penises are made of bone……..their ultimate weapon, of pain AND pleasure.

The cats are beginning to rise up. We must stop them before it’s too late and we’ve all been shoved into Catcentration Camps and forced to live on canned Human Food.

Wow, things are gonna get hectic.

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