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Well, I blacked out last night. Drank just over a pint of Vodka in the space of about 2 hours.

The thing is, I live with my parents at the moment, and they hear whatever it is I do during my blackouts when they’re having their night’s sleep.

I don’t know what I do when blacked out, but it seemingly involves some yelling and hitting things. My parents have heard me on a number of occasions, they describe it as sounding as though I’m ‘upset’, I’ve also woken up the next day with bruised knuckles….hmm?

Anyway, just thought I should tell you that.

Monday is the day, the day to try this sober thing again, kinda looking forward to feeling physically and mentally normal and present again.




13 thoughts on “Ugh.

  1. Good luck!

    Posted by cornfedcontessa | June 21, 2015, 4:14 am
  2. Jeez be safe

    Posted by joeythebuddhist | June 21, 2015, 4:48 am
  3. Be careful. I was like that before. Waking up with bloodied knuckles and black eyes and wondering what the heck happened.

    Posted by Thumbup | June 22, 2015, 5:14 am
  4. You can do this. I blacked out and fell going up the stairs- I know what are the odds of that- at the time I lived at home too, when I realized what had happened I was sitting on the floor in the foyer area, my mom had a first aid kit, scissors in her hands, and I asked wtf is going on?! She was crying and said “your head is bleeding and I need to cut off your hair because your head is gashed open”. Of course I swore at her and didn’t think much of it and passed out on the couch. The next day, I went to see a doctor and then did cut my hair and I had 4 stitches and they checked for concussion. Till this day I can feel the scar. It was such a dark place for me during that time, similar to you, but I just want you to know there is hope. You cannot drink and let alcohol, this little pest, take over your life. You are so much stronger than you think and just believe in yourself. Day one becomes day 3 becomes a month, then a year. It’ll seem like decades has gone by but when you look back and reflect you can count out everything great you have accomplished and remember everything. The key word is remember everything :). Keep it up! I picked up hobbies from getting supplies from the dollar store, it’s cheap and if I mess up I just throw it out. Painting, scrap booking, I know it sounds weird but crocheting is good, baking. I’m not rich so I had to find cheap ways to keep busy. I gained 30 lbs from eating a lot of sugary food to replace the alcohol, but at the end of the day, I live better, as long as I have a good life I can lose the weight, which I have. Just some suggestions. It’s the hardest thing to do and such a challenge but you’ll be stronger than ever and I know anyone who is reading your blog is right behind you along with friends and family. You can do this!

    Posted by Gia Leigh | June 22, 2015, 12:30 pm
  5. Reblogged this on the sirius dark room and commented:
    I’m re blogging because this is a story of persistence and perseverance. The struggle is there but keep going. Hold on to the beautiful things in life and strive on it. You can do it!

    Posted by Gia Leigh | June 22, 2015, 12:46 pm

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