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Two Sacred Rules of Aussie Culture

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This’ll be about Vegemite. A salty yeast extract which is put on toast for great great flavours.

Also, I’m tired of foreign people, especially certain Americans, denouncing and castigating Vegemite for being ‘gross’ and ‘disgusting’. It’s not, thanks very much, you’ve simply never learned how to utilize Vegemite in the proper, most effective way. I shall teach you how to use Vegemite below,

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Vegemite is delicious, but foreign people tend to smear on a layer about five times as thick as it should be.

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Rule 1 – The Vegemite-to-butter ratio should be somewhere between 1 part Vegemite to 2 parts butter or 3 parts butter. Any more Vegemite than 1 part to 2 parts butter will be overpowering, really overpowering.

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Rule 2 – the toast must be VERY hot when you put the butter and Vegemite on it, take it straight out of the toaster and begin smearing butter and Vegemite immediately! The butter will melt quickly, straight after the last bits of butter melt into the bread the Vegemite must be applied thinly and sparsely – – about a chickpea sized blob of Vegemite, no more than that.

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Now, if you follow these two most sacred Aussie rules, you too will be enjoying the sweet, sweet salty taste of Vegemite – it’s like Beef Bullion and light craft beer in a jar…..get into it!

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Discussion

7 thoughts on “Two Sacred Rules of Aussie Culture

  1. I would totally love to try Vegemite but I can’t seem to find it anywhere.

    Posted by baffledbaboon | May 27, 2015, 3:11 pm
  2. Reblogged this on PSPpies and commented:
    Seems like a good guide; though I have tried almost this very method and I’m not a fan.

    Simon loves it and keeps a jar on hand at all times.

    -Caroline

    Posted by PSPpies | June 2, 2015, 8:15 am
    • That’s fair enough, what I’ve atually found is that women/young girls tend to dislike Vegemite in much higher numbers than males. Interesting.

      Posted by sarcasticgoat | June 2, 2015, 3:16 pm
      • I’ll even give it a try every year or so, just to see. Sure enough, I still don’t like it. BUT my husband loves it, so we keep a supply on hand.

        Posted by PSPpies | June 2, 2015, 4:19 pm
      • You should try just an ever-so-tiny amount on toast every now and again. I like it smeared on really quite thick, which most people, even Australians would find gross! haha

        Posted by sarcasticgoat | June 2, 2015, 4:28 pm

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