Forgive the awful title of this post, I’m not in a good mood, and I merely wanted all you dear readers and followers to read the title of this post and just feel a little bit of the pathetic misery that hovers over my head as of late…………you’re welcome.
What is depression? I know it’s a debilitating disease, a disease that millions upon millions of people from every corner of the Earth. I don’t know whether I have depression or not, I’ve never been diagnosed by doctors or other white robe-wearing authoritative persons.
Depression can, as you all know (not saying you all have depression, but you know what I mean I think), can be so severe that it robs the sufferer of their will to live, causing them to kill themselves. That’s terrible.
Anyway, I loathe talking about myself and my feelings, so let me describe my mood of the past several days in this form………………..(it’s below, the form is)
I wake up in the afternoon, not morning, because the happy birds chirping make me feel angry and ill. I STRUGGLE (capital letters means to read the word louder, as if I was really yelling it) to get out of bed, but eventually I do. I sometimes shower, I know it’s gross, but I perhaps shower once every 2 days, maybe once every 3 days (yuck, I know). I have a strong cup of coffee when I wake up, then perhaps some peanut butter on toast, if not, then I’ll generally go without. Afternoons to evenings (weekdays) are spent getting ready for work, a workplace where I have no real friends, I don’t talk or chat to any of the other workers, I suppose I’d like to, but I’ve never spoken to any of them really for the entire length I’ve worked there, and it would look really strange if one day I just started asking them questions and talking to them (I hope they’d think I’m a Russian spy, that’d be cool).
I drive home after work, light up a genuinely pleasurable cigarette and smoke the shit out of it – – smokers will know what I’m talking about. I get home, have whatever I can conglomerate together from the fridge AND cupboard, eat it, digest it and so on. I play some games on the computer, watch some videos on the YouTubes, I have a couple more cigarettes, I’ll also maybe write a semi-interesting post on this website. Then I go to bed, and the vicious cycle begins all over again the next day.
What do you do to deal with your misery, people?