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My Brand New Religion (Please Follow)

Here’s my new religion,

Basically, you (a member of my religion) can do anything you want to, as long as it isn’t criminal(you cannot kill, rape, burglarise or steal or act immoral in any way etc) . You can play video games all day long if that is your want, you can go to your job, working behind computer for nine hours if you want to, you can walk your dog all day if you want………

My religion practises freedom in the utmost extreme. You can have sex with whoever you want to (animals are a stretch, but if you can convince me that the animals aren’t suffering in any way, then that may be possible). But homosexuality in my religion, is totally embraced and accepted.

There are no dietary requirements in my religion…….you can eat absolutely ANYTHING you want to eat. That is all.

Circumcision…..ah, that old fashioned technique for not getting sand in your cock-head…………that was totally appropriate in the times of Christ etc, but we mostly live in cities and towns and villages now, no need to cut the most sensitive part of the penis off. Enough of that!

Womens’ rights…………….yeah, in my religion, women are exactly equal to men, in terms of pay and rights and absolutely everything……..enough said…………women are humans, we’re all humans…….there should be NO differentiation.

In terms of dealing with other religions………..all religions deserve to be talked about and discussed, but NONE shall be taken as the TRUTH! Not even mine. They are ALL deserving of ripe criticism and ridicule, that’s the most important thing, they must be able to be ridiculed! (without fear of violent repercussions – are you listening, Islam!?)

And most importantly of all……………..Treat every person as you yourself would like to be treated – – it’s an ancient idea that Confucius and the Ancient Greeks held very close to their chests – – I’m stealing it and appropriating it into my own religion, like all religions have done throughout the ages!

Thanks, you can call me Lord Goat!



3 thoughts on “My Brand New Religion (Please Follow)

  1. Hail our new Goat Overlord!

    Posted by youretheworst | April 4, 2015, 5:52 pm
  2. Lord Goat sounds so formal. 🙂

    Posted by NotAPunkRocker | April 4, 2015, 7:42 pm

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