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I’ve just mixed coffee with tea,

my taste buds are none too pleased.

It tastes like neither of the two,

it’s gross, please, please don’t you try.


Mango juice is nice,

thick and fruitishly precise.

Just don’t blend the skin in there with it,

You’ll get sick, sick to your stomach.


I have never had good luck with drinks.

They’ve all been either too hot, too cold,

or worst of all, too addictive,

I know I’ll taste something foul soon, I know it, like text predictive!


Squirting lemon juice into milk aint a good idea,

the milk disassembles like a cheap table from IKEA!

It all turns to gloopy shit, sludgy and non-liquid,

no longer any good for dunking biscuits!


I suppose I’ll just stick with water,

not much wrong can befall the humble glass of H2O.

I’ll eventually find a way to ruin it, mind you though.

The glass I use’ll probably be moldy and rotten!


Wish me luck,

I’m trying some zero-percent wine,

Oh, shit, oh fuck!

This stuff’s the real deal, back to the bar line!




2 thoughts on “Drinks

  1. I’m writing an angry letter to Oxford Dictionary, demanding to know why “fruitishly” isn’t a word yet.

    Posted by baffledbaboon | March 12, 2015, 2:53 pm

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March 2015
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