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The Living Moon, Panic Rooms! (poem)

Up there, sitting still,

the Moon comes alive.

High above, Astronaut Bill.

He’s got to get off there, “Moon-Buggy DRIVE!”



The Moon with cognisance aplenty,

tries to shrug Bill off,

tries to fling him off the craters, the dents.

The Moon mutters, “Cough, cough, FUCK OFF BILL, cough cough“.



Bill should’ve taken a partner up to the Moon,

someone who knew how to reason with rocks.

Without a plan coming to mind, Bill was doomed,

He was sweating a lot, soaking his Astro-socks!



The Moon, shaking and quaking with impatience and madness,

Bill was scared, “Houston, we have an angry Moon”.

He jumped as high as he could, grabbed his backpack, and aimed for home planet!

Pulling his cord, being jerked upwards, inflated balloon!



Feeling safer now, having ballooned of the Moon,

Bill relaxed a little.

On current course and heading, Bill’d be home in June,

Rip, tear and crunch! Damn balloon was cheap ‘n’ brittle!



Hurtling back down towards the Mad Moon,

Bill had a plan to negotiate with it.

He’d give it ‘cheese’, which was actually disguised foul mushrooms!

Opening the can, and leaving some out, Bill fled for a crater to watch events unfold.



The Moon ate the shrooms, and seemed to settle down.

Bill sneaked back to his Lunar spaceship, to attempt a clever getaway,

But the Moon woke up, angrier than ever, Dark-Side of the frown!

Bill thought, “Damn, shouldn’t have lied on my resume!”



He wasn’t qualified to go to the Moon,

let alone deal with an angry bloody one!


“Get off my back, Bill. You pointy feet aren’t fun!”



“Oh, okay. How do I get off you?”

The Moon shuddered and trembled with all its worth,

With a sudden BOOM, Bill was shot off the MOON,

Falling and spiralling back down towards dear old Earth.



Back at home, Bill was considered a lunatic.

No one believed him and his tale of the Moon,

But every night, he’d look up towards his round, grey friend,

the Moon would wink at him, Bill and the Moon, friends to the bitter end!






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