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Clingy Creep Love Song (humor)

Why are you doing this to me, Felicia?

You’re on my mind and in my wallet.

Tomorrow night’s the night for us,

It’s now or never babe, eternal love or bust!


I saw your phone and the messages on it, Boo.

I’ve been denying them for months, they won’t be a hurdle,

our love’s a real thing, let’s not let it spoil like milk curdle!

I’ve got plans for us, and I hope you do too.


Your eyes at times, see right through me,

your body is a temple, wide and roomy.

What do you mean, I’m being rude?

I like your plus-size booty, not trying to be crude.


That guy you talk to across the hall,

he looks like trouble to me, babe, if you’re asking for the truth.

I’d like it if you cut back on seeing him,

I’d like it if you spoke to me like you do him.


Why aren’t you replying to my texts, princess?

Was it the roses I sent? Were they too prickly?

What do you mean, “Stop messaging me, creep!”

Is that your real opinion, or your wicked sense of humor?


Deep down I know how you feel,

I’m doing all I can to reach that endless pit of love, babe.

I think bout you, yesterday, tomorrow and most of all today!

I’ll be your fisherman’s pole, you be the fish, I shall reel you in for real!


Why have you sent the police to talk to me?

They say you’re fearing for your safety?

Is this true? Whoever is scaring you? I’ll kill them!

On your Facebook and your Twitter, you’ve blocked me?


I don’t know where this is going, some practical jokes, I assume.

You lost your uncle a few weeks ago,

If this is your way of dealing with it, I understand.

Tomorrow we’ll meet for lunch, can’t wait.


Seeing you there at the cafe table,

makes my heart race uncontrollably.

You reach into your handbag, you point a device at me.

A flash and a bang, and now I’m being electrocuted…….


……come on babe, enough of this.

my heart’s gonna explode, literally.

You leave in a taxi quickly,

while I lay here on the street, dying slowly.


Oh well, this romance was worth it in my opinion.

the times we shared were the best of my life.

Now my life’s ending,

I shall become a ghost, and do special things for you round your house.


Goodbye for now, baby.

I’ll be back in ghost form.

See you soon.

I’ll meet you back in the bedroom! *wink wink*




3 thoughts on “Clingy Creep Love Song (humor)

  1. Holy shit, I loved this.

    Posted by Madam_W | February 26, 2015, 8:35 am

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