Here’s a little bit of advice in list form, informing you how to actually have a blast without drinking. The temptation is always there, but we must be vigilant and say “no thanks”, or maybe “fuck off, Gran, and you should cut back a bit too”.
Here’s something free you can do without a drop of alcohol in sight. Enjoy.
1. Pull fire alarm
2. Change into fish costume
3. Place mouth over ceiling sprinkler
4. Hang on, flop around
5. Make prolonged eye contact with firemen