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Untitled (oh wait, “Christmas Poem” should do it)

Hello Jesus, happy birthday, lad,

big food, cold drinks and fun times were had,

Turkey came round, but I preferred the lamb,

I’m so full, gastric eternal damnation.

Our tree is made of plastic,

from the New York town, Mastic.

It’s an antique plastic thing,

adorned with trinkets and tinsel.

I feel like everyone had a very good time,

but, again, it gets ruined with too much alcohol,

this is always the way,

I’m glad I’m behind that now.

I had way too much sugar though,

lots of orange juice and coca cola.

And lots of cranberries, grown in America,

as all cranberries are, they’re sweetly chronic.

I got a Tottenham jacket, which I like very much,

Father got so drunk, he started speaking Dutch!

What do vegans eat at Christmas?

a potato pie? Olives from Isthmus?

We played Scattergories long into the night,

tis a great game, really reveals who is bright!

I didn’t do too badly, thought of some words,

“A four letter word”…….dirt!

Why can’t every day be like Christmas?

Oh that’s right, the economy would go down the shitter!

Too bad, we should do Christmas for a whole month one time,

We’d all be happier, but economically…..in decline!




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