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Car Problems

I have a 1997 Mitsubishi Magna. It has a problem. It has been to the auto-electrician to be “fixed”. Initially the problem would’ve seemed to be solved. But just today, the problem has come back, with a vengeance.

THE PROBLEM: The immobilizer occassionally, as in today, for some reason, just won’t accept the code written into the ignition key. It will crank, start to turn over, but because the immobilizer is FUCKED, the fuel won’t go into the combustion chamber, and so it won’t start.

This problem has perplexed me for the entire length of the time I’ve had this green, wheeled piece of SHITE!

I have exhausted all possible explanations, so my new theory is this,

I know that the code inside the key and the immobilizer is obviously quite old and archaic, 1997. So my theory is that the code in the key and the shitty electronics inside the immobilizer are freaking out because of my particular brain-waves. I know that every time this problem has occurred, I’ve been VERY worried, anxious and stressed out about something or other. The car has never had this problem when I’ve been in a really happy, good mood. So, it’s simple…………….

…………………………………………..the immobilizers installed into first-gen 1997 Mitsubishi Magnas can actually pick up on the emotional states of their owners. It might be a safety device WELL AHEAD of its time. Think about it….if the owner of a 1997 Mitsubishi Magna is horribly stressed out and anxious, they might not be in the best possible state to drive safely.

In retrospect, thanks Mitsubishi! You probably saved my life…..you faulty hunk of mechanical fucking SHIT!



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