As I sat there, still and weepy on the warm November night,
I hungered, famished, alone and yearning for starch,
not too decisive about my cuisine choice of the minute,
I was hungry as Hell, I had missed that meaty dinner!
What on Earth would I have to eat?
A bit of cheese, a packet of nuts or a desperate suckle at my dog’s teets!?
I sat there, lonely, hungry and mad,
perhaps I’d have some fake cigarette lollies, called “Fads”.
The Fads went down a treat, but they weren’t enough,
their fake cigarette nature left me with a placebo cough!
I would need something much more filling,
I really wish I’d had that dinner!
I stumbled upon a grand idea,
I would venture to IKEA,
some of those gross hotdogs they have,
would fill me up, and let me behave!
IKEA was full of people, dirty, sick people with dreams to destroy the careers of carpenters,
they mill around, with dullness, they probably live in hipster-like apartments!
I could not be in that place for a very long time,
I left IKEA with haste, only with a set of Roman chimes!
Upon reaching my abode,
I opened a packet of “Bloges”
A unique packet of chips,
meant for MEN, not for chicks!
They are potato-based,
unlike cabbage chips,
I ate them with haste,
spilled some crumbs on my nips.