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My Nan’s Wisdom

My Nan was a lovely person. So wise and thoughtful and friendly. She was a tiny woman, and also an alcoholic. She eventually died of complete and utter liver deterioration. But it wasn’t as bad as it sounds, she was a perfectly nice, friendly drunk, the best kind. And she kept laughing until the end.

The wisest thing she ever said to me was this…..”Don’t say God, say gosh, because every time you say God, you distract him from helping the poor”. I replied, “Wow, that’s a very good point, Nan, but put some clothes on and get out of the fucking wheelbarrow”!

I also remember the last thing she said to me just before she died, she said, “WHAT YA DOING IN HERE WITH THAT HAMMER!?”

I once went to see her as a little boy, I said, “Don’t dress as a little boy, Nan, it’s actually humiliating”.

I once asked her about love, and what she said was utterly beautiful, she said, “Love? Well, on the outside it can be tough and hard and unforgiving, but if you let it grow naturally and organically, you can peel away the hard outer layer, and what you will find is soft and gentle and intensely pleasurable”. I said, “Wow, that’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever heard. Is that really what you think love is”? She replied, “Love? Oh, I thought you said a melon”.




6 thoughts on “My Nan’s Wisdom

  1. This pretty much made me go “what?” at the end of every sentence. I’m not really sure if that’s true…is it?

    Posted by humorworks | October 23, 2014, 2:25 pm
  2. Your Nan was awesome and very wise!

    Posted by Lafemmeroar | October 23, 2014, 3:29 pm

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