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The Beach

Sloshing waves, sunny days,

gorgeous girls, wearing very little.

Can’t help but drool out my Coke-stained spittle.

I don’t have a beach body.

I have noticeable muscles,

but very pale skin, and a forest of manly hair.

I badly need a sunbed and a tube of Nair!

I can’t swim very well, and quite scared of the water,

here in Australia, the sharks will get ya!

Or the jellyfish will get ya!

You can cut the jellyfish into a million bits, and the fucking millions bits will attack you!

How’s that for this sub-tropical paradise? The animals here have a deadly view!

Kicking a soccer ball, with the gang,

bad weather sets in, clouds go BANG!

Rain falls, people run, some don’t,

they like the rainy beach, as is their wont!

We scatter to the car we came in,

windows are up, tunes are jamming.

we go home, and we say,

“Well that was a waste of a day”.

The beach is a tricky place, ladies and gentlemen. Be careful.



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