Poems are things that have words in them,
not like letters, or emails or whatever else that have words in them,
poems have words in them, sometimes they rhyme, sometimes they don’t!
I’m not sure whether this poem will rhyme or not, we shall find out, together, as friends! (awww)
Something has been running through my mind as of late,
and that something is this – – how good are potatoes!?
So versatile, so tasty, so potato………..so potato!
Whoever agrees with me, gets a potato clock (gets up at eight o’clock!)
Fries, pancakes, mashed, boiled, roasted, braised, sauteed, raw and many more,
are all things the humble potato can do for y’all!
Next time you find yourself tucking into a variation on the potato,
give thanks to the Spanish conquerors who discovered them, but ignore their genocidal behaviour!
I don’t particularly enjoy McDonalds or Burger King or any of those burger food places,
but the fries they have there, are so good, a real food-related Road To Damascus!
Thank you Lord who doesn’t exist, for the greatness and glory of the humble potato!
And fuck you Lord, for also creating the awfully shit non-humble tomato!
I LLOOVVEE potatoes, they are a big part of my life,
no, I’m not a farmer, just a humble little young man.
I owe a lot of my adult height and energy to you, potatoes!
Your starchy, carbohydrate-rich content has filled me up time and time again!
And long may it continue………….long may it continue.
Vegetables are shunned in modern society.
People believe them to be bland and boring,
but those fat fucks will be dead at 50, and we potato lovers will still be here,
enjoying our mash, our roasties, and our potato-created Russian Beer!
Small AND large, pretty and gnarly!
Potatoes come in all shapes and sizes!
They really are the fucking best thing ever!
When a stranger offers you some mashed potato, don’t you dare say no, never!
Lifting sacks of potatoes is also a very good form of exercise,
buy as much as you can, and lift the almighty fucken shit outta them!
Your deltoids, pectorals and latissimus dorsi will be taxed in a good way,
workout recovery meal? No problem, roast potatoes!
That’s about it on the subject of potatoes,
I’ve enjoyed getting this off my chest,
Now to eat some chips……..made from potatoes, by the way!
This confession has really brightened my day!