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Soccer (Football)….or (kicky-round thing, for the very dumb)

I have made the decision to become a soccer coach. I believe I have the necessary prerequisites – I like soccer, I know how the soccer beast works and feeds and grows and plays. My playing days are WAY over, my knees are complete shit, probably for the rest of my life. I was a central defender (centre-back) and my job was to stop the opposing team’s forwards (strikers) from scoring goals. It’s a tough job but someone has to do it. Centre-backs have a tough time with their knees and legs in general, because of the constant and ferocious changing of direction in relation to the other team’s attackers. We often have to slide down on our legs to poke the ball away, we also have to put our bodies on the line in a way that no other position has to – we have to lunge in front of the ball sometimes in order to stop it from going into the net etc. So obviously, I can no longer play at the semi-professional level I once did, so, being a coach, I can live vicariously through the team I manage, win win! 

Getting your “badges” is what it’s called – when you do the coaching course. It’s a long, arduous process, but it may very well be worth it when my under-13s team lifts the South Australian trophy!

I don’t want to say that I’ll be the next Carlo Ancelotti, but who knows? Maybe I’ll coach Real Madrid too, one day. Definitely not! 

Milan, 2003 European Cup winners

The above picture is a diagram of the best team I’ve ever seen. The AC Milan team of 2002/03 was quite simply…..fucking awesome. As long as I recreate this team with a bunch of 12 year olds, I should be alright. Maldini and Nesta, two of the best centre-backs of all time, Pirlo, the best passer in the world at the time and Inzaghi, the weirdest goalscorer I’ve ever seen, he was half-man, half-offside! This team recreated by 12 year olds should win me all sorts of things!




11 thoughts on “Soccer (Football)….or (kicky-round thing, for the very dumb)

  1. Good luck!

    Posted by S | August 3, 2014, 3:55 pm
  2. I don’t know how the kids grow down under, but you may struggle to find a bearded 12 year old nutter, like Gatusso?
    Also, whoever does become the pre-teen animal, has to be promised to a Glaswegian! It’s crucial if your trying to replicate the exact same kind of crazy.
    Good luck
    Astalavista, baby!

    Posted by henrygame | August 3, 2014, 4:13 pm
  3. When they say “now you may kiss the bride” in Glasgow, its a whole different kind of kiss. It’s called a ‘Gasgow kiss’ and it involves one persons forehesd and the other person’s nose.
    Bloody menace they are them sweaty and socks!

    Posted by henrygame | August 3, 2014, 4:30 pm

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August 2014
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