You are the joy of millions, and also the scourge of millions more. You are the lubricant for the gears of the mind of the creative people, yet you are also the scummy muck that clogs in the minds of some perfectly rational sober people. You have so many different flavours and styles, but in the end, you affect every person in exactly the same way – – in quantities enough, you leave every person drooling, asleep and in danger of vomiting themselves to death in their sleep!
You are a liquid. You smell of nothing, and your ingestion leaves a strong sting in the back of the throat. You are a versatile bastard, you can mix with almost anything. You are the slut of the drug world, you’ll mix with any other liquid introduced to you, and you love it!!!
Billions of dollars is spent on you each year around the world, and you think it’s coooooool, don’t you!? You come to us in brightly coloured bottles and cans, we can’t resist you, you bastard thing, you!
We drink you to relax. We drink you to get “fucked up”, we drink you all day, every day, and you, alcohol, have no responsibility it seems. You’re more than happy to see millions die of liver failure, you are unable or unwilling to stop the plague of alcohol abuse destroying the lives of SO MANY people! But, we still love you.
I…….HATE you, alcohol. My family is riddled with alcohol-related death, but I cannot stop enjoying you! For whatever reason, the alcoholic-gene in my DNA has not been triggered yet, but it very well might one day, and I will have to deal with your sorry-ass one day. Until then, I shall drink as much as I like, and as soon as you get to be too much a problem in my life, I shall kick the fuc outta your pasty, sozzled face!
Fuck you, Alcohol!