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A Man With No Name

Alone, cold and slightly damp, in an unknown dark room, a light-switch salesman by the name of…………well, nobody knows, sits on the wet ground cursing his decision to enter the house of a known weird bastard to talk about upgrading said weird bastard’s lighting system. You see, a light-switch salesman of the caliber of this unknown man is never going to pass up the opportunity to “enlighten” (light-switch salesman humor) a person who they feel could benefit from some heavy duty lighting upgrades. Upon knocking on the door of the weird bastard’s house, the man whose name isn’t there immediately felt that something was very…..weird. For a start, the weird bastard opened the door with nasty haste, and then snatched the man with no name’s name-tag – hence why we ne sais pas son nom!

The weird bastard, who we shall call “Britney” for reasons of clarity and ease, slammed his front-door in the face of Mr. No Name with a scowl and a snake-like hiss! No Name, who we shall call Naomi, because it sounds quite similar to his lack-of-name, was taken aback to say the least. He was fucking appalled and shocked and righteously pissed off, to say the most! Naomi was a charming, good-looking, well presented and thoroughly decent man, in his mind, he did not deserve to be dismissed with such disdain and contempt. Naomi rang the door-bell again and again, he banged his fists on the door, hoping that something would happen. Something very much DID happen. Britney had pointed the end of some sort of gun through his letter-hole. Fortunately it was not a lethal gun, merely a tranquilizer gun. Britney fired the gun, as if Naomi was a wild animal, and not a highly successful light-switch salesman. Naomi felt the intense prick of the sleepy dart lodging into his left testicle. As he felt himself becoming irretrievably sleepy and falling to the ground, he wished his tranquilized sperm sweet dreams, then he completed his fall, very comfortably, onto a gymnasium mat that was almost too perfectly placed for this incident to be a coincidence.

Part two coming in due time    



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June 2014
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