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World Cup Poem

Too bee do doooo,

the world cup is on, wooo hooo!

Both Australia and England have lost their first games,

hung, drawn and quartered, they be maimed!


Italy and Chile beat both my teams with seemingly easy ease,

they were great teams, fed on a diet of macaroni and cheesy cheese!

I’m watching Germany vs Portugal right now,

Germany is winning, it’s 3 in the morning, not the nighttime!


The Netherlands look unbeatable at the present moment,

they might, with their weed stained hands, lift the trophy.

Robin Van Persie scores a header like a beached whale on large doses of cocaine,

Arjen Robben also scores goals, he’s bald, he need Rogaine!


The Italians don’t have the impenetrable defense they once had,

they play not as good as 8 years ago, no Cannavaro, no Nesta, no defenders whose asses be BAD!

All the best defenders are Italian, why is that?

Maybe because they’re descended from Romans, who were always defending their land!


Neymar, the Brazilian wonder-kid, is in scorching form,

for the sake of England and Australia, I hope his ankle gets torn!

Sorry, Neymar. You magnificent player, but it’s true,

I hope you get sick, injured or a severe case of the Flu!


In conclusion, England will win, I’m predicting it now,

if they don’t, I’ll fucking go to town!

But if they do, I shall scream and shout and scream some more,

I’ll end this poem now, it’s becoming a bore!


Bye bye. 




2 thoughts on “World Cup Poem

  1. Soccer…er…futball…or something…is akin to watching paint dry.

    Posted by john hauge | June 16, 2014, 8:19 pm
    • Hmmm?

      Surely it’s better than watching 6 seconds of roided up dumbasses running into eachother wearing tights, followed by 5 minutes of commercials?

      NFL is a sappy Coldplay song, whereas soccer is jazz!

      If you don’t like NFL, then disregard this whole thing haha 😉

      Posted by sarcasticgoat | June 17, 2014, 4:55 am

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