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*James Bond sultry music* Tony Abbott!………..The Man With The Golden G….ift For Embarrassment!

(feel free to share funny stories of your own leader/s. Prime Ministers, Presidents, Dear Leader if you’re writing from N.K. and so on) 

Our Australian leader, Mr. Anthony Abbottson. Abbott, has for the past several days, flown to different countries, looking and acting thoroughly James Bond-like, and also thoroughly embarrassing all of us in Australia – or is he?

His first gaffe was to announce to a young French boy, “Je suis Antoinette”. What he basically said was, “I am a girl”! Not so much embarrassing, as extremely hilarious and kind of adorable, adorable in a horrific way seeing as Antoinette Abbott probably has some amount of access to weapons of mass destruction – funnily enough, his international dealings have earned the nickname “weapons of mass delight” – they can cause death as if laughing gas has been let off in the immediate vicinity!


Secondly, in a show of solidarity with his fellow world leaders, he attempted to take part in a group hand holding activity. Mr. Abbott made the most fundamental mistake. That mistake being, he put the wrong hands forward. His left hand should’ve crossed over his body to the right, and vice-versa for the right hand. This mistake left him standing in the middle of a line of world leaders, still goofily smiling, still not acknowledging the fact that if he can’t complete a simple hand-holding activity, then managing a whole country might not have been the his wisest career choice!

Thirdly and lastly, he has been actively trying to convince India, New Zealand, Canada and one other country that both I and Mr. Abbott have forgotten the name of, to do all that they can to dismantle their climate change/global warming reduction measures! He’s actually doing this! Of course, he is a staunch Catholic who doesn’t think that the Earth’s climate is in peril, so in his beady little eyes, he’s just doing the perfectly normal thing that any delusional anti-science broad called Antoinette would do if they had the ultimate power of the office of Prime Minister of Australia!


In conclusion, Mr. Abbott is not a very smart man. He’s not very charming, or funny, or witty or engaging. His entire being fails to exude even the tiniest scintilla of friendliness! But at least for now, he’s relatively harmless. And I don’t really believe that EVEN IF he turned evil and tried to destroy some shit and kill Australian citizens, he’d be so inept at his attempted genocide, that we ordinary citizens would very likely laugh ourselves to death long before Mr. Abbott even had the first shot fired!

Bye bye.






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June 2014
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