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It’s What They Say – Outsourcing Your Blog Posts Adventure

“people always say: keep on writing even when you don’t feel like writing”

 

I like that kind of attitude, but I am simply far too tired to write anything coherent or cohesive. So, ingeniously, I have outsourced this particular blog entry to a Bulgarian man I have never met, who contacted me via Facebook and who works for a fraction of the price of your typical Anglo-Saxon Westerner blog entry-man/woman. His name is Hristo. According to him, his English is poor to moderate as he had no formal education whatsoever. He lives in absolute desolation. He only has one eye, no hair and horrific scars across his face from a bar brawl with a Black Bear. He has also explained to me that he is currently on the lamb – he’s seeking a better life for himself in another country. Lastly he explained to me that he wrote this outsourced blog entry whilst clinging on to the underside of a big truck with his thighs, and a notepad and pencil in his hands.

 

Safe to say, I’m not hoping for much, but anyway, take it away Hristo…..

 

“I’m Hristo, and I shall have to let you know – I am on the run, under a truck, seeking a more agreeable life, a life that is worth some kind of thing. If any of my family finds,reads or knows of this text that hast spilt from my trembling hand, they shall surely know that I had to do the thing that I’m doing. They lacked the brains, the wits, the wherewithal to go on the same expeditious journey that I am enjoying so dearly at this present moment. Dear family, I hope you the best and grandest of all that life could possibly offer you in the following years. The following years, the years that I am completely uncertain of. They may turn me evil with malice and dread or perhaps these upcoming years will bear fruits greater and juicier than any of my several remaining taste-buds could possibly dream! I don’t know. I’m uncertain. I am searching long and hard for a better way of life. I deserve it! I deserve it with the same urgency with which a newborn child deserves the snuggest hugs from its mother and father. I have been clinging to the underside of this truck like a smiling child from a playground bar. Where I end up will be a greatly mysterious surprise. But one thing hast surely be true – wherever I arrive, I shall do everything in my power to make my life AND the lives of the new people around me better”.

p.s. If this truck stops in the United Kingdom, or Australia, and that’s where I have to stay forever, then please God, to anyone I know – SEND HELP. Those awful backwards countries do not look upon immigrant kindly at all. Please God, let this truck stop in Canada or somewhere decent!

Onwards and upwards,

Yours Truly, Hristo  

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