//
you're reading...
Uncategorized

It Sucks Being A Muggle

It sucks being a Muggle,

not being able to fly around on a broomstick,

or get into all sorts of Wizarding trouble.

Or even enjoy odd flavoured jelly beans, like “Starstruck Moon-lick”.

 

I’ll never meet Hermione Granger,

without alerting her “stranger danger”.

Harry and Ron and all those lads,

I’m nothing to them, it’s tragic!

 

Not having a wand to hold in my hand,

and by wand, I mean the non-penis variety,

the type of wand that shoots brilliant white magic,

not of the penis variety, again, not of the penis variety.

 

A magical train ride I’ll never experience,

no cloak of invisibility, the best I’ll manage, a camouflaged tent!

Quidditch? Ha! Not for me, the desperate Muggle, hiding in the green and brown tepee.

I’ll never see Hogwarts, and it’s floating ceiling candles,

I’ll never meet Neville Longbottom, or touch his glorious love-handles.

 

Professor Snape seems like a cool cat,

with his black hair, black cloak and everything black and all of that!

I bet he’s a nice guy deep, deep down,

get a few drinks in him and he’s the dinner party clown!

 

That flying blue car would’ve been nice,

Until the battery goes flat, then suddenly, it’s “Oh Christ!”

But I’m sure it has a magical battery,

well, that’s my attempt at automotive flattery.

 

Dobby the house elf would be a lovely friend,

easy to feed and clothe and defend.

Magical powers in a friend is always a handy thingy,

he’d turn my tennis ball tubes into fresh, crispy Pringles!

 

Anyway, I’m a Muggle, and I wish I wasn’t,

And now, for me, it’s back to the fantasy closet!

In there I’m free to imagine everything,

Aw, but there my doorbell goes, “Ding ding, ding ding”.

 

SHIT!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Advertisements

Discussion

2 thoughts on “It Sucks Being A Muggle

  1. Sighs, all we have is imagination.

    Posted by Jeyna Grace | April 30, 2014, 2:49 am

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

CM 97/98

Losing the hours all over again

Red Shambhala

Only what they do not need first to understand, they consider understandable. - Adorno

Patrice Ayme's Thoughts

Morality Needs Intelligence As Will Needs Mind. Intelligence Is Humanism.

Lebana's Journal

I Dare You to Figure Me Out

Rashi Shrivastava

TemptationOfWords

Stories For All

Amature Writer. Short Stories.

roads bel travelled

Exploring open roads without breaking the bank

RoughBandit

#joke #lol #haha #funny #hilarious

LIMES & LEMONADES

When life happens

POETRY PASSION

A PLACE FOR PROFESSIONAL & PASSIONATE POETS

%d bloggers like this: