In the South of Australia, where I live, winds are battering the roofs and the trees. The rain is thoroughly lubricating the roads and the hairstyles. And the immense heat is burning the skin and the driveways are being used to cook eggs.
I know that relatively, this is not a big deal in the world’s scheme of things. Weather, all over the world is destroying people’s lives. The typhoons in south-east Asia, the earthquakes everywhere EXCEPT Australia it seems. But in all honesty, this crazy weather I’m currently experiencing is quite exciting to me. The normal weather problem that Australians experience is pretty much HEAT! Yesterday it reached 43 degrees Celsius (109 degrees Fahrenheit for all you old-timey countries). A lot of Australians remedy this heat problem by going down to the beach and drinking ice-cold beverages (all of them alcoholic, by the way).
I like alcoholic beverages, but I don’t particularly like the beach. It’s full of overconfident, health-obsessed, tattooed young people eyeing each other up constantly. You’ll be trying to have a conversation with some attractive young woman, and she’ll take a break from your conversation every now and again to check out an unnaturally muscled young man with no bodily hair and a Maori tattoo (even though it’s clear that this man is not from New Zealand in any way).
Anyway, the winds battering my neighborhood are coming in thick and fast. Wind is a strange thing, isn’t it? Where does it come from? What creates the wind? Can we stop this vile beast called “the wind”?
Chaos Theory tells us that a butterfly flapping it’s wings in the Caribbean Sea can create a hurricane or typhoon on the other side of the world. I have devised a countermeasure to high-speed winds wrecking our lives – the remedy to dangerous winds – KILL ALL BUTTERFLIES!
Ciao (Italian for “see ya later”).