//
you're reading...
Uncategorized

Show and tell story from a very rough school.

note. Please read this in the voice of a small child doing show and tell. It will make it a lot funnier, hopefully.

 Yesterday I did a lot of things. I woke up at about lunchtime and said “Happy Fathers Day” to my daddy. I got him a funny card and some lottery tickets. He was happy. He said “thank you very much”. Then I was happy, because he said he liked all the stuff.

Then a few hours later, I got a call from my friend. He said, “would you like to come over to my house to play some video games?” I said “yes, I want to do that very much”. We played some video games together, it was very fun. We played a soccer game on the Xbox and I played well and I think all the lads gave 110 percent. We came and we played well and we went away with the vital 3 points we needed.

After the video games, I got in my car and drove home. But my car had a small amount of petrol, so I filled it back up again, and also bought some cigarettes with the left over money. As I was driving home, I got pulled over by a policeman. He said “Hello young man, have you had anything to drink tonight?” I said “no” and then drove off. I think the policeman must have been in a lonely mood, because as soon as I drove off, he started to chase me. I didn’t have time to play chasey chase, so I ran the red lights, drove up onto the sidewalk and got home safe and sound. My car had a few nasty bruises, though.

When I got home, I took my trench coat off and lit up a cigarette. My mummy was not pleased at all. She said, “Jimmy! What have I told you about leaving your trench coat on the floor? Put it on the coat rack”. Then I put it on the coat rack, and I blew smoke in her face as I walked over to the fridge. My mummy coughed for a few minutes and then asked me if I wanted my milk warmed up, and I said “yes please”. She warmed it up and gave it to me. I drank all of it and even poured some whisky into the milk. I like when I trick mummy like that. After my milk she put me to bed because she thought I was tired. I wasn’t tired, I was just really really drunk.

I passed out and had a good night’s sleep. That was what I did yesterday. I hope you all enjoyed my show and tell. My name’s Jimmy, and I’ll cut you up if you tell anyone about the police chase I was in. Got it! Good.

Thank you for listening.

p.s. If your mummies or daddies are running low on crack, I’ll give them my locker combination. My crack-locker has an honesty system of payment. If you take some crack, please leave a bit of money in there.   

 

Advertisements

Discussion

No comments yet.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

w

Connecting to %s

View Count

  • 22,191 hits

Calender

September 2013
M T W T F S S
« Aug   Oct »
 1
2345678
9101112131415
16171819202122
23242526272829
30  
Advertisements
Wordpress articles blogsphere

Current and relevant articles on almost every topics

The Art of Blogging

For bloggers who aspire to inspire

Smart Watch

Умные часы с поддержкой сим-карты

Organifi Green Juice Review

Information and Resources

Arbie Krae

don't pet the fanganhoardens

renegade7x

Natalia's space

Burning The Fedora

Essays written for radical left shit posters by one shit poster in particular

Inmate Blogger

A Collection of Blogs Written By Men & Women In Prison

%d bloggers like this: