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Justin Bieber could be a bit like Jesus, or possibly Hitler?!

In 1994, a baby was born in Canada. Nothing extraordinary so far. But, this baby would one day grow up to be the most famous entertainer on Earth. That baby’s name was Justin Bieber! DUN DUN DUUUN!




Discovered in roughly 2007(though no one can be precise on the exact dates, just like the Bible) via his YouTube videos. These videos featured a very young Bieber singing and dancing like a bit of a superstar. A very influential man by the name of Scooter Braun then signed Bieber to his record label(I think).


From that moment on, Bieber has continued to skyrocket higher and higher up the ladder of fame and fortune. In fact, by the age of 18, just for a few short minutes, he was richer than Bill Gates. Unfortunately he splurged all the money on chocolate milk and skittles for himself and his entire entourage. Amazingly, that day he blew seven billion dollars!


With million and millions of devotees all over the world, Bieber, if he wanted to, could very well take over the world, or a large portion of it. This thought must be bouncing around the “Dear Bieber’s” head quite often. And I, for one, would not complain if the Dear Bieber decided to amass an enormous following and start his own religion/philosophy/state etc. Why has he not done this?! He could be the dictator of Bieberland. He’d be completely immune to any criticism, and paparazzi’s would be burnt alive if they were found guilty of picture taking. A complete wonderland where Bieber and his followers could live in peace and quiet, just chilling out and listening to Bieber’s 178th album on a constant loop over loud speakers. Loud speakers in every room of every building in Bieberland.


This exact scheme has, of course, been done before. North Korea operates under the very same scheme, and they seem alright, don’t they? Stalin’s Russia was also very similar, and historians are still talking about that, so it must have been pretty cool, right?


So, look forward to this happening in the coming years, because it will happen, or at least something very similar. David Beckham, for example, has a vast business empire under his control. But obviously, Beckham is nowhere near smart enough to think of creating an actual empire. Bieber however, has some very shrewd and clever people in his entourage(probably), and if they sense the time is right, they could very well start up a bit of a revolution and then carve out a huge part of the United States’ homeland for Bieber and his people.


I actually wouldn’t mind if Bieber and his people decided to do this. Because it would never turn violent like every other example of this kind of thing that’s ever happened before. The total lack of violence and aggression would come from the fact that Bieber’s music would be pumping nonstop all throughout Bieberland, and all the inhabitants would be so tired from screaming and chasing the Dear Bieber, that they wouldn’t be bothered getting angry, and would just go have a nap after a long hard day’s screaming.



My prediction………by the year 2025, Bieberland will be under construction, and nobody will really take it seriously. Nobody’ll take it seriously, until North Korea declares war on Bieberland, and then the Dear Bieber defeats the Dear Leader in a rap battle, thereby leading North Korea to disband through sheer embarrassment, and also a small amount of admiration for the superior Dear Bieber.


Do it, Beebs! You know you want to.        






One thought on “Justin Bieber could be a bit like Jesus, or possibly Hitler?!

  1. Here’s a story you might enjoy… The rise of Hitler explained for drunks! 😉


    Posted by lordsofthedrinks | August 13, 2013, 5:02 pm

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